A Blossoming Life has been doing a series on building a better marriage. My friend, Jordan, over at
Lily White-Designs, was asked to do a guest post as well as my friend, Carrie,over at
Carrie This Home , Both of their posts caught my attention, so I had to share. To check out the whole series go to ablossominglife.com
Here is Jordan's post...
Building a Better Marriage: The Honest Truth
As Jared and I were sitting on our couch he looked over at me and said,
“Can you believe we are actually married??” We both laughed, and then
started talking about the whirlwind of events that God ordained to bring
our paths together. Before I was with Jared, I had been very cautious
with even titles in relationships. I didn’t want to be called anyone’s
“girlfriend.” (Here you can insert your judgments on my commitment
fears, they are probably true) Then, as I look back at my joy upon
Jared’s proposal after only a brief 4 months of dating, I am in awe of
God’s work in my heart and life.
If any of our decisions would have been even slightly different, chances
are we would have never met. Let alone fallen in love. More over,
gotten married.
Reflecting on these times doesn’t bring about praise for our decisions,
and we don’t exalt the strength of our love, it brings about our praise
of God for his hand in our life. I say all this to make the point that
if you are married, God did it. No matter if it’s difficult right now,
or sunshine and roses, God put you together. Marriage is the best way
for us to preach the gospel to ourselves. In those difficult times,
instead of questioning your marriage, let it be a time that you can
reflect on your understanding of what God did for us in Christ. When you
feel mistreated by your spouse, remind yourself of the way that our sin
caused Christ to be mistreated, and his continual forgiveness of our
shortcomings. When your patience is running thin, remind yourself of the
patience Jesus has for us in our slow and stumbling process of
sanctification. Of course, it is easier for us to simply point out flaws
in our spouse. Instead, take time to evaluate the response that you
feel. Do you really understand the gospel? If so, how does it change the
way you feel, act, and speak?
One thing that Jared and I are both very passionate about in our
marriage is honesty. Honesty even when it hurts, even when it is
embarrassing, even when it makes us rethink everything. As Jared and I
struggle with sin, we tell each other. Seriously, like everything. I
know what it feels like to look someone in the face and spill your
deepest secrets, and I know the warmth of being held as tears are shed.
God made us one flesh. We want to take advantage of what God gave us and
help each other fight sin in our lives. We have no secrets. We know
each other’s weaknesses, we keep each other accountable, and we pray for
each other to become more like Christ. I plead with you, don’t wrongly
think that your spouse isn’t strong enough to hear you out. As we have
already established, God put you together! There are an exponential
amount of reasons for that. Don’t you think it’s in the realm of
possibility that one of those reasons would be to help you become more
like Jesus? I think so.
Also, Jared is my best friend. I treat him like it. I admit there are
days that I fail at this. But, it is one of my goals to always treat him
like my best friend. I don’t want to stop having fun together,
laughing, playing, loving, sharing dreams, making out
,
being excited to tell Him about my day, sharing celebrations, and
tears. He is the one God gave me. He is my life long love. He is the one
I will spend all my days with. He is my lover and my best friend. I
want all those things that I loved about him from the beginning to just
keep piling up, as we get older. We have this little joke where we say,
“Today I love you 1 billion, 5 hundred million, 72.” And each time we
say it we add a bigger number. It’s really true. God keeps growing our
love for each other, and He’s gonna keep doing it, because He put us
together. He’s gonna keep showing us our sin, and reminding us of how he
rescued us from it. To Him be the glory in everything, even in our love
story.
xoxo, Jordan.
And now for Carrie's post...
This post first appeared at
A Blossoming Life as
my first guest post! As a new blogger I was really honored to be asked
to do a guest post. Amy is doing a great series on Building a Better
Marriage so to see the whole series check it out at
ablossominglife.com.
Today I’m sharing some marriage tips that my Hubby and I have learned over the years.
My Story
The Hubby and I have been married for over 10 years and we met in
college. Before getting married, we first made sure that our life goals
and aspirations were on the same page. We both are following Jesus the
best we know how and this is the biggest priority for the both of us.
We both eventually wanted to have kids, but not right away. We both
wanted to live in the area where we went to college. Beyond that we
weren’t too sure what our life would look like. But we knew we wanted
to spend it together.
So we got married and here we are ten years and two kids later!
No One Has The Perfect Marriage
Before I go on I think it’s important to recognize an important fact:
no marriage is perfect. Don’t think that anyone has the perfect
marriage because it simply doesn’t exist. Every marriage has strengths
and weaknesses. Marriage is between two imperfect people so there will
be PLENTY of problems that will come up. It’s how those problems are
dealt with that makes the difference.
Little Tips for A Better Marriage
Serve one another. The most important tip I can
give comes from Philippians 2:3 “Do nothing from selfish ambition or
conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.”
Put your spouses needs ahead of your own. Put off selfishness and
seek to serve your spouse. Your spouse should do the same for you.
When two people come together serving each other’s needs amazing things
happen.
Share interests. My hubby and I are very different
so most of our interests are also different. I love to blog, my hubby
loves to ride his bike. Hubby loves to watch Rocky movies. I’d rather
watch a romantic comedy. We find ways to support each other’s
interests, even if it’s not as “interesting” to the other. Blogging is
not the Hubby’s favorite thing to do but he shares my interest by
encouraging me with blog posts and helping me with grammatical
corrections. The Hubby loves cycling and talking about bike parts.
Those two interests are not my favorite things to do. I’ve learned a
couple of things about bike components because it’s something the Hubby
LOVES to talk about and then we can talk about it together.
Sometimes our interests are the same, like with photography. We both
love to take pictures and mess around with new settings on our camera.
It’s fun to share an interest that we both enjoy equally.
Invest time into each other. Play games, go for
walks, workout together, go on regular dates. A couple of years ago we
noticed in the evenings when we have time together we would just veg in
front of the TV. We were acting more like roommates instead of spouses.
We both had to put a priority on spending active time together, not
just co-existing. In trying to change that, we discovered game called
Monopoly Deal and we both LOVE to play it. After the kids go to bed we
put on some music, play the game and chat with each other. It’s a great
time to connect with each other.
Enjoy things together. One thing we love to do
together is watch Top Gear (the UK version of course!) We both LOVE it.
Yes I am a wife who loves to watch Top Gear. Why? I have a general
interest in cars but it’s not as much as my hubby. I LOVE the show for
the cinematography (cinematography is the way they capture scenes). The
lenses and high-speed cameras they use to capture a car going over 200
mph without blurring amazes me. We often pause the show to comment on
the amazing feats a car is accomplishing or an amazing shot that we wish
we could replicate with our camera.
Don’t harbor bitterness or anger. This is one of my
biggest struggles. When I get upset, I have a bad habit of keeping
score of all the wrongs that person has done to me and I want to hold on
to bitterness. Ephesians 4:26-27 says
”Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,
and give
no opportunity to the devil.” When I choose to talk to my hubby about
what’s bothering me focusing on forgiving and finding a solution to the
problem, I’m much less likely to harbor bitterness. After all, hasn’t
Jesus forgiven me of all the junk I’ve done?
Support their God-given purpose. Right now my
God-given purpose is to stay home and raise our two kids and help other
women close to me. My husband supports my purpose by providing for our
family, giving me time to invest in other women, and giving me a break
from mommy duties when I need it.
My hubby’s purpose now is to teach on multiple levels. He teaches
high school science and also teaches Sunday school. He’s also built to
encourage others. I help support him in his purpose by helping him
grade papers at night and giving him time with friends that need
support. We often have people over for dinner as a way to bless
and encourage them. This is a great example of God using our gifts
together and it’s really fulfilling for both of us.
I hope this post was helpful to you! What was the best marriage advice someone gave to you?
